I can’t believe how long it’s been since I penned a blog. I used to do it quite regularly as I feel I’ve always got some bit of advice or knowledge that might benefit couples getting married. And I’m a big believer in sharing knowledge and telling things how they are … no false bravado or bulls**t from me … just straight up, so here goes my 1st blog for 2023.
There have always been couples who, for various reasons, want to just slip away, do the legals and boom, they’re married. But, since COVID moved into our lives, these ‘legals-only’, ‘elopement-style’, ‘registry-like’, ‘kitchen table’ ceremonies, just to use a few commonly used descriptors, are on the increase. Why? Because it’s meeting a demand. It’s exactly what some people want.
Karen and Mark were married on The Q Train and Paidi Flynn was their photographer.
And these ceremonies are rocking it! Why? Because peeps are marrying EXACTLY the way they want and celebrants are delivering the PERFECT ceremony for THAT couple.
the Why
And there are so many different reasons couples are preferring these quiet, intimate, ceremonies. I had one recently where one party suffers serious anxiety attacks and just couldn’t imagine, let alone summon the strength, to be married in front of others. So, in their lounge room, we had the couple, their adorable son (ring-bearer extraordinaire) and two siblings (witnesses). They texted me that night to thank me for making the day not only a reality, but exactly what they had wanted. Minimum, no fuss, PERFECT for them! And no stress or anxiety attacks, just one happily married couple. As I said, perfect.
And then there are couples who just want to formalise what they’ve been doing for ages; living, loving and enjoying each other’s company. They don’t feel the need to shout it from the roof tops.
Then there are the couples who need to prioritise their spending. They may be saving for a house, or some other big asset/occasion. Why blow it on something they just can’t justify.
And then there are couples who are having a HUGE, and I mean HUGE, celebration overseas but want an Australian Marriage Certificate. Easy. Done.
Lily and Max with family at Jack Rabbit Vineyard. Image provided by Meg Read.
the minimum
And that brings us down to what is actually required to be married with the bare minimum in Australia.
And just so you know, ‘parties to a marriage do not have to be an Australian citizen or permanent resident of Australia to legally marry in Australia.’ (Guidelines on the Australian Marriage Act 1961 (C’lth))
Firstly, the parties must:
‘not be married to someone else
not be marrying a parent, grandparent, child, grandchild or sibling
be at least eighteen years old, unless a court has approved a marriage where one party is aged between sixteen and eighteen yers old
understand what marriage means and freely consent to marrying
use specific words* during the ceremony - more on that below*
give written notice^ of their intention to marry to their celebrant, within the required time frame’ - more on that below too^
Kylie and James in Barwon Heads with just their witnesses. Image provided by Ash Hughes.
And the specific words* are:
“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, xxxx, take you, xxxx, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/spouse.”
We can vary the wording a little; example, instead of spouse, we can substitute ‘partner-in-marriage’. You can also remove one of the words ‘lawful’ or ‘wedded’ but not both. I don’t use ‘lawful’ in my couples’ legal vows as I’ve had one party use the term ‘awful’ accidentally and they were devastated! It made for great photos though!!!!
The written notice^ refers to the legal document, The Notice of Intended Marriage, or more commonly known as the NOIM. You don’t have to provide the document, your celebrant will do that for you. This must be lodged with a celebrant AT LEAST one month prior to the ceremony and NO EARLIER than 18 months before the date of the proposed marriage. There are a couple of riders here.
If the 2nd party is not available, one party can lodge the NOIM with the celebrant and the 2nd party can complete it at a later date but prior to the ceremony taking place.
A celebrant legally cannot marry a couple with less than one month’s notice, UNLESS a ‘shortening of time’ has been approved by a prescribed authority. This requires quite a bit more explanation so contact me if this is something you need more information on.
Legally, we also need to have two people over the age of 18 who can act as your witnesses, one each. You don’t have to know them and I can provide witnesses if required for an extra fee.
Once the legal side of things are in place, we’re all good to go.
So that’s it basically. Simple, sweet and not alot of fuss. And perhaps a glass of sparkling to celebrate! Get in touch if you’d like to talk about some sweet little nooks on The Bellarine or further afield for your ceremony and we’ll take it from there.
