ABSOLUTELY! There’s nothing better than having a bestie or family friend marry you. Well, other than using me of course!
So, the answer is yes, someone near and dear to you can perform your ceremony and I can step in to make sure the legals are all ridgy-didg and you’re actually married when the partying has finished. And below I’ve got some options depending how much you need me to do.
UPDATE 08.11.2023
This review of a wedding I did illustrates how well we can create a seamless ceremony with the couple as the focus.
“Sue was the most perfect celebrant for our wedding day!
Our friend performed our ceremony. Sue worked closely with them to ensure they had the confidence to complete the ceremony and the two of them worked so well together.
We had so much freedom with what was included and were able to make it uniquely ours. It was such a special touch.
Thank you so much, Sue! We loved working with you!” Georgia & Chris 27.10.2023
I’ve done 300+ ceremonies now and a few of those have used super-close friends, or even their local publican, ha ha see below, in some way during their ceremony. It really comes down to how much you’d like your friend to do and I’ll give you some examples.
Kristen & Riou’s close friend Marty and I did a tag-team effort and we got on like a house on fire!
Photo provided by Jenna Fahey-White
WHAT I MUST DO (LEGAL COMPONENT)
According to the Attorney-General’s Guidelines a celebrant’s minimum role is to:
be present during the ceremony
to identify myself to everyone attending that I am the “celebrant authorised to solemnise the marriage”
be responsible for ensuring that the marriage ceremony is carried out according to law
state The Monitum (legal definition of marriage in Australia)
be in close proximity to ensure I can see and hear the vows and ensure they comply with the requirements of the Marriage Act
be available to intervene if needed
receive and sign the papers required by the Marriage Act
register the marriage with the appropriate BDM as per the Marriage Act
In the above pics I’m off to the right with Lauren’s close friend and pseudo-Nana, Fay, doing some of the ceremony at Basils Farm. I’m close by to support her and to ensure I can see and hear everything.
Photos provided by Regent Photography.
Below are some examples where I’ve co-delivered ceremonies.
OPTION ONE
I create the whole ceremony and then you and your friend determine how much they feel comfortable delivering. It might be a small component or the majority of the ceremony. We’d be a tag-team and run-through exactly who is doing what so there are no awkward moments. This is perfect for someone who is keen to do it, confident in front of people but isn’t familiar with the ceremony format and would like some support.
Violet and Sam’s good friend, Michael, doing a hand-fasting ritual whilst I explain the meaning.
Photo provided by Florido Weddings
OPTION TWO
I create the whole ceremony which can then be modified and tweaked according to the style of the person performing the ceremony. This is perfect for the person who’s confident in front of people and has a good idea of how a ceremony flows.
The below series of images is taken from Adrian and Shelley’s wedding at Higher Ground in Melbourne where Nick, Shelley and Adrian’s local publican, did the main gig. I provided my wedding toolkit and the four of us nutted out what the ceremony should look like over a few drinks. I created ‘their story’ and prepared the first ceremony draft. Nick then tweaked it into his style and the result was awesome. Nick delivered the full shebang with me just stepping in for the legals. If you’d like to read Shelley and Adrian’s testimonial, click here.
Photos provided by Katie Harmsworth Photography.
OPTION THREE
Your friend can create the whole ceremony from woe to go and I arrive, do the legals, and then disappear! Of course, I still need to meet with you prior to the ceremony to complete the initial paperwork but this may be via Zoom, or some other means, if face-to-face isn’t possible. I also need to see the script prior to the ceremony to ensure the legals are incorporated correctly. Your legal vows are mandatory and must be spoken according to law. This is a good option for people who are confident with the ceremony format, can write creatively and love performing in front of people.
I mentored a celebrant student where she married her close friends and I just stepped in for the legals. Her name was Sue and she married Sue and Hiroko, so it was a tad-confusing at the beginning with three Sues lol. Initially, we met up together and completed the first piece of legal paperwork. I provided my wedding toolkit to everyone, the celebrant-student created the ceremony, I gave some feedback and advice and, on the day, she performed the whole ceremony with me just stepping in for the legals. It worked a treat and the four of us were soon doing high-fives!
I’ve done this option on a number of occasions now.
Kacey and Dave at Geelong’s Botanic Gardens. Photo provided by Happy Pixel Photography.
FEES
My fee varies according to how much work I put in and, obviously, I’m the one who carries the responsibility of ensuring you are both married according to Australian law. We don’t want anyone in attendance raising the question, was that legal? Yup, it’s been done but not to me thank goodness!
My fee is also subject to peak periods. If the ceremony is on a Saturday afternoon during peak wedding season, I will need to charge my full fee. But, if it is earlier in the day, I’m happy to charge less.
I charge my full fee if I’m providing my wedding kit, my PA and creating the ceremony, whether I deliver it all or not. If my wedding kit isn’t required, someone else has created the ceremony, it’s very small and we don’t need my PA, and all I need to do is turn up for the legal component, then my fee is adapted accordingly.
And in relation to me stepping in for the legal component, there are various ways we can do this. I must be introduced at the beginning as the authorised celebrant so, at that point, I can deliver The Monitum up front and get it out of the way. Then I’m not needed until the end for the signing which gives your friend a nice window to strut their stuff!
Me signing off on the legals. Photo provided by Louisa Jones Photography.
Or, I can be introduced at the beginning and we then do the tag-team method. This can have it’s advantages too, especially if the friend is a little nervous and might need support or a break or you might just like to mix it up a bit. It’s totally up to you!
Lauren and Josh celebrating their day. Photo provided by Regent Photography.
At the time of writing, I’ve got two bookings where friends are participating. One is where the friend has done weddings before; she’ll write and create the entire ceremony and I’m just doing the legals, and the second one is up in the air. The friend hasn’t done a wedding before and is not familiar with the ceremony framework. The four of us met and we got on really well and this is important, especially if we end up doing a tag-team. I provided to everyone my toolkit and they are currently determining how much the friend would like and feel comfortable doing.
At the end of the day, we all want to see you married and happy with your ceremony, so get in touch if you’re thinking about involving someone in your day. You may have thought of an option I haven’t. So share the love, I want to hear it!
If you enjoyed reading this, please share the love with a LIKE below or make a comment. Thanks, Sue x